Shopping for Fun

I like to practice believing what I'm wearing doesn't really matter. I know this to be true. However, somewhere deep inside I am drawn to buying new clothes. It's something I struggle with, because I clearly understand that the meaningless collection of  clothes does nothing to improve my overall quality of life. (Something as I near 30, I realize is the only thing that matters.) I have been joyfully toting bountiful bags of new and exciting items out of shopping malls for as long long as I can remember. Marching to the car with audacity, a sense of what is possible in the world, getting high on my fix of the novelty, the better me. Problem is, after years and years of flying high on the hopes of the life my new wardrobe might bring me, I'm still me. I've never turned into the happier, cooler, sexier and more confident version of myself that I envisioned as I'm trying on and eagerly handing over my plastic. So what gives.

Sometimes I can go for months without shopping. If I feel content, with my clothes or my life in general, and am not thinking about those 1 or 2 things I "need," I can sustain long periods of retail celibacy. I'm also very good at going shopping, trying on just for fun, and then abandoning the idea and heading home empty handed. Sometimes it's like I'm in a trance thinking about how much I need, want, and desire EVERYTHING in the store - only suddenly to have an awakening that none of these items will contribute to my wholeness as a human being and how materialistic and superficial it all is. I've left dressing rooms filled with unimportant items, carts at Target, abandoned in a flash of guilt ridden reality. Tucked at the end of an uncrowded aisle, where no one will see me in my moment of bravado as I walk away. Like the remnants of a home after foreclosure or natural disaster, the adorable outfits, trite pieces of fabric that could have been MINE, instead lay crumpled on dressing room floors, a reminder of what almost was.

Feeling spiritually connected, being healthy, living authentically and sharing myself with my friends and family. A career that I'm passionate about. These are the things that make a life happy and fulfilled. Maybe it's time I stop feeling so guilty about my shopping habit and embrace it as a vice, a temporary source of fun and joy for my life, similar to chocolate, or a great movie. What I aim to do is to shop more infrequently, but without the self judgement. Maybe knowing none of the items will make me a more wholesome and fulfilled being spiritually, will help me to enjoy the futility of my retail therapy for what it is. Awesome, exhilarating, temporary, adorable, fabulous fun.

A word or two on Salmon.

Grocery shopping has gotten quite involved lately. I, like many of us, am more carefully considering what I'm tossing into my cart. And not just looking at the calories, fat, carbs or sugars. I want to know where my food comes from.

Last week I was about to select my regular filet of farm raised salmon when I stopped to read the label. Farm Raised Salmon. Color Infused. Wait a minute, why is my salmon color infused. The butcher informed me that because it's farm raised, it isn't naturally the salmon color we think of. Therefore to keep consumers buying, the fish farmers add coloring to the salmon feed to turn their flesh that nice pinky salmon color we consumers have grown to know and demand. He also informed me that the wild salmon naturally is a bright pink, sometimes red, color and is also better for you than farm raised.

It turns out there is a whole salmon debate taking place. Farm raised salmon has been, (from what I've read,) widely criticized but is hugely popular as the delicious and cheaper alternative to the natural, organic wild salmon. Not only is wild salmon better for us, it's insanely better for the environment. Salmon farms, referred to as aquaculture, are wreaking havoc on our oceans ecosystem. Here are some good resources, check 'em out. Moral of the story, think before you eat.

Salmon News on NYT

Salmon of the America's
Leftover Salmon Band

Merry Consumermas!!

Every year I sort of dread the holidays. It seems to me the Christmas/Chanukah season has morphed into an orgy of mass consumerism hysteria. How many meaningless items will we buy, wrap, be thrilled with the anticipation of both giving and receiving only to open and temporarily enjoy these miscellaneous items before moving on to the next more exciting thing. Doesn't it seem trite and meaningless?Doesn't it infuriate anyone else when you're bludgened with holiday advertising before Halloween? It's insulting and it's time we use this opportunity to practice sustainable and intentional living.

Most people understand that whatever items are given/received during this time of year don't equate to the love and affection of the giver. It is tempting to think though. Perhaps if I give the biggest/most expensive/rarest/coolest/interesting gift there is, people will think I'm great, = I'll feel better about myself. I have always tried to give gifts I classified as thoughtful and useful. More meaningful than the widely coveted cashmere sweater. I once gave my Dad a can of cashews (his fav,) my brother a hat that was his (I had borrowed many years prior,) my brother in law a gift card to McDonalds (complete with Happy Meal packaging,) and I remember giving someone a marshmellow gun. Incredibly useful. However even these are temporary pleasures that are quickly forgotten.

I'd like this year to think of something thoughtful, meaningful, useful, and not wasteful. Here are some ideas.

Some sort of cooked item. Pie. Cookies. Etc.
Upcycled glass vases with fresh flowers.
Upcycled glass jars with spices or ingredients for cookies.
A CD of some delightful tunes.

If all else fails I'm getting everyone this.

Thanksgiving

My favorite holiday of the year. It's so special to many of us, possibly more so than those other holidays, Christmas/Hanukah or whatever you celebrate. There is nothing better than a cozy day at home, the last of the autumn leaves falling before winter takes hold, and doing nothing but preparing and than enjoying delicious healthy food with the people you love. Thanksgiving is like honestly a little like heaven. I don't even mind doing, err helping with, the dishes.

Mom's Table 2006

I've been practicing being thankful, and thinking about all the things in my life that I appreciate. Is it wrong to say that I appreciate myself? My own journey towards being a healthier, happier and more fulfilled person is something I'm thankful for. It's so easy to spend most of the day complaining about just about anything. I haven't been eating healthy enough, why did I buy the canned soup when I should make it from scratch with organic ingredients including vegetables that received daily pep talks, listened to Mozart and went to Harvard? Why can't people be more respectful, kinder to each other? Being thankful, through all the noise and doubt in your head, takes some good intention and practice. Thing is though, if we stop complaining and start listening, the little magic moments of everyday and the quiet beauty of your life slowly starts to reveal itself to you.

My awesome parents, who I'm thankful for.

Some things I'm thankful for:
My handsome, loving, supportive husband.
My family and all their love.
My warm and happy home.
My friends and all the laughter shared.
Beautiful things. Good books. My must see TV. :)
Days when I'm forgiving and loving towards myself and others.
Learning.

My grandparents. My great grand-parents and all the struggles my family made as Jewish immigrants making lives for themselves.
Cashmere. (Sorry I had to. There ain't nothing wrong with cashmere.)

Hope everyone enjoys the turkey and, more importantly, each other!