Colorado June 2008

This was a 5 day business trip with my then boyfriend now hubs. His company was footing the bill, therefore we stayed at the Ritz Carlton Bachelor Gulch, just outside of Vail, Colorado. We ate at the fanciest places, went to a rodeo and hoedown, and even enjoyed some white water rafting for free. We had a lovely time. I enjoyed schmoozing with a new group of folks I'd never met, laying by the pool and pretending to be an heiress.

Awesomely Bad....

Please at least watch a few minutes of this awesomely bad safety video. I'm personally terrified to work in a factory after this gem. Safety first!

Philadelphia on New Years Eve Guide 2010

Hi friends and non friends alike, I'm trying to compile a pretty darn comprehensive list of New Years Eve restaurant specials in Philadelphia. Including prix fix dinner specials, live music, etc. A note, I didn't include anything that listed it was serving a regular menu, that was in New Jersey, or w/o mention of specials or entertainment.

Here are a few good places to start:
Foobooz New Years Eve Guide 2010
Foobooz 50 Best Bars in Philly 2010

This post has been edited! In lieu of my lengthy list of options for a rockin' NYE, I'll happily admit that Foobooz has this covered. Please see links above! The Foobooz NYE Guide is searchable by features like Budget Friendly, Open Bar, Veggie Friendly, and neighborhood.

Real Fresh Food

If you read my post on farmed vs. wild salmon, you know I've been thinking more about food. I'm now reading In Defense of Food, and I'm getting a whole new perspective on how to think about eating. I have been doing what many of us "western" eaters do, focusing on the nutrient parts (carbs, sugars, protein) rather than the whole, not focusing on the chemicals in processed foods I'm eating, and being a slave to the latest nutritional fads.

Fresh veggies in the crock pot....

My diet has been what I'll call moderately healthy but I'm realizing how much I can improve.

Here's what I'd like to eat more of:
Real Fresh Food
Fruits + Vegetables
Homemade sauces/seasoning
Beans, grains, nuts
Locally or sustainably grown everything
Fish

Eliminating these! Yikes.

What I'm going to try to eliminate and cut down on:
Meats (Beef, chicken)
High sodium soups
Frozen pizza's or meal
Pre Packaged sauces
Canned or frozen vegetables
Anything that isn't sustainably produced (ie. farmed salmon)
Splenda/Any synthetic sweetener
Margarine
Breakfast sandwiches from Wawa

The main element of my diet that I'm trying to correct is too much meat, and relying on processed and science-y foods. I've always liked to have a complete frozen meal in the freezer, for those nights when I can't even think about turning the stove on. These are chemically engineered food stuffs that are manufactured not with a goal of being healthy, but to be produced as cheaply as possible, to last longer on the grocery store shelf and to turn a profit for the manufacturer. 

So my husband and I have been filling our grocery cart with mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, and making meals of just these ingredients. We added in some beans, (lentils, kidney, black) and healthy whole grains like quinoa.

Here are some basic goals:

•  I want to eat things that are fresh and from the earth.
• To cut down the process between when it's grown/born to when I eat it. 
• Take less shortcuts. 

Being a Jew on Christmas

It can really stink. Let's admit it, we can share in the spirit of the holiday all we want, but there's definitely a feeling of being left out on Christmas. For the month of December (and earlier and earlier every year) our lives are overrun by an overwhelming barrage of all things Christmas. I love celebrating with my husbands family, and love celebrating Chanukah with mine. Still, every commercial on TV, beautifully lit up houses, every store you patronize this time of year reminds you of this special celebration shared by the majority of Americans that you're not a part of.

Believe you-me, I get into the holiday spirit. I send cards. I love lights. I've celebrated lovely Christmas' with my now in laws and other families, (I've attended a beautiful midnight mass - in LATIN) and always loved the family togetherness, the laughs, and the magic that makes it the most wonderful time of the year. I love a sparkly outfit, cocktails pouring and indulging in a few too many hor dourves. Who doesn't enjoy a little festivity?

And we Jews get down in our own way with Chanukah too. I've been lighting candles and reciting the blessing since I could talk or use matches without risk of burning the house down. Like many Jewish families, we celebrate the festival of lights with chopped liver, latkes, a delicious meal and presents. There is no challenge enjoying our little Chanukah island even in an ocean of garland, red bows, and mistletoes.

I must admit, Jewish friends/family brace yourselves, I've always wondered what it feels like to celebrate Xmas as a bondafied non-Jew. Let me set the scene for you. There I am with my full on Christmas gear; a white cotton turtleneck topped with a terrible, itchy red or green sweater depicting Rudolph and Santa kibitzing under the tree. I'm drinking something delicious, a hot toddy or spiked eggnog, smiling happily with family around a magnificent tree. A cozy fire crackles and pops as we laugh and talk the night away. All is right in the world.

Only thing that's missing in this picture is the chopped liver. And my Mommom's Matzo Ball soup. And the Judaism. And the family history of my ancestors who worked tirelessly, lived simply, all the while honoring and sharing their religious culture with their children. Even though we can feel left out this time of year, I'd never want that image of me, in another life celebrating Christmas, to come true. My family has our own traditions, our own foods, language and joyous holidays to enjoy. I wouldn't be me without them.

So while we may look forward to the end of the holiday season, if not to escape the endless Christmasness, the commercialism or holiday parties, than to dull the sharp distinction that this time of year highlights between us and everybody else. How about let's use the holidays as an opportunity to celebrate our differences? (Corny Alert.) But I'm serious. Lets make the latkes, light candles, but (when appropriate) also sport a fabulous, itchy, red christmas sweater and laugh under the tree with the best of them. Invitations for Xmas (and Chanukah) parties currently being accepted!!

Portugal in Depth

Some more details of the towns and cities we stayed in. This was our itinerary:

Nights 1+2: Lisbon
Nights 3+4: Carvoeiro
Night 5: Mertola
Night 6: Evora
Nights 7+8: Coimbra
Nights 9+10+11: Porto
Nights 12+13+14: Sintra

Also visited: Lagos, Silves, Vila Nova de Milfontes, Cape St. Vincent

 

Many of the traditional villages your guide book may describe as "must sees" are hauntingly beautiful towns that are worth a visit but can be too tiny to spend more than one night in. I'm talking one castelo, a town square, two coffee shops, four retail boutiques and three restaurant towns. It's charming, it's romantic and a nostalgic glimpse into a simpler way of life. If you want a vision of traditional village life, here it is.


If you're looking for more activity, you'll find a faster pace of life in the cities, which offer a wide selection of ways to spend your time and money. We shopped, (we were on a hunt for the perfect azulejos) ate, went to museums, soccer games and concerts. Here in the cities even more than the rural areas, the contrast between the old and new is so evident. The stories of the past are tightly interwoven into the essence of each place. Turn a corner from a glass lobbied office building, wind down one of the narrow European street, past paint chipped buildings, a tattered wooden door weathered and chipped by time, or graffiti strewn, broken glass windows. Ride the subway with suited up businessmen and angst filled fashionable teenagers listening to ipods, feverishly texting their girlfriends/boyfriends. The cities can take your breath away with the grandeur of beautiful architecture, palaces, museums, churches, many ornately decorated with marble or their famous tiles (azulejos.)

Portugal has a distinctly melancholy air about it. The distinction between the old and new, a sad song (perhaps the country's traditional fado music) that strikes a new chord with every new place you discover. I felt the proud enterprising spirit, cities buzzing with newness, and a relentless march towards the future of a new Portugal. I felt the love of traditional simple life. The enjoyment of a slow and quiet afternoon enjoying cafe com laite in your local town square. Portugal was an amazing way to experience both.

Our Lua De Mel

Lua de Mel is Portuguese for Honeymoon. Wanted to share some great memories from our trip. We went to Portugal in November, for two amazing weeks! I had been so wrapped up in wedding plans I was thrilled to throw myself into exploring everything this country had to offer. Weather was colder than we'd hoped, and we only got to put on our bathing suits once, but we got great use out of jeans and sweaters.

My husband and I love an adventure. With a decent map and an open road in a place we've never been - we were totally in our element. We rented a car in Lisbon and spent the two weeks driving around Portugal and seeing where we ended up. We didn't plan ahead much, except for the hotel for the first two nights, and plotted the rest of the trip day by day. Two weeks was a good amount of time to see the entire country if you don't stay in one place too long.

Portugal has a different variety of beauty. The landscape varies from open fields of wheat and small working farms, open plains with African looking cork trees, to ancient, time worn European and Moorish style architecture, many crumbling into dust under the weight of time. Then within an hours drive the horizon rises into an intensely modern glass towered Manhattan-esqe cityscapes. It's at this intersection of the old and new where Portugal is it's best. Read more about our trip here.

Shopping for Fun

I like to practice believing what I'm wearing doesn't really matter. I know this to be true. However, somewhere deep inside I am drawn to buying new clothes. It's something I struggle with, because I clearly understand that the meaningless collection of  clothes does nothing to improve my overall quality of life. (Something as I near 30, I realize is the only thing that matters.) I have been joyfully toting bountiful bags of new and exciting items out of shopping malls for as long long as I can remember. Marching to the car with audacity, a sense of what is possible in the world, getting high on my fix of the novelty, the better me. Problem is, after years and years of flying high on the hopes of the life my new wardrobe might bring me, I'm still me. I've never turned into the happier, cooler, sexier and more confident version of myself that I envisioned as I'm trying on and eagerly handing over my plastic. So what gives.

Sometimes I can go for months without shopping. If I feel content, with my clothes or my life in general, and am not thinking about those 1 or 2 things I "need," I can sustain long periods of retail celibacy. I'm also very good at going shopping, trying on just for fun, and then abandoning the idea and heading home empty handed. Sometimes it's like I'm in a trance thinking about how much I need, want, and desire EVERYTHING in the store - only suddenly to have an awakening that none of these items will contribute to my wholeness as a human being and how materialistic and superficial it all is. I've left dressing rooms filled with unimportant items, carts at Target, abandoned in a flash of guilt ridden reality. Tucked at the end of an uncrowded aisle, where no one will see me in my moment of bravado as I walk away. Like the remnants of a home after foreclosure or natural disaster, the adorable outfits, trite pieces of fabric that could have been MINE, instead lay crumpled on dressing room floors, a reminder of what almost was.

Feeling spiritually connected, being healthy, living authentically and sharing myself with my friends and family. A career that I'm passionate about. These are the things that make a life happy and fulfilled. Maybe it's time I stop feeling so guilty about my shopping habit and embrace it as a vice, a temporary source of fun and joy for my life, similar to chocolate, or a great movie. What I aim to do is to shop more infrequently, but without the self judgement. Maybe knowing none of the items will make me a more wholesome and fulfilled being spiritually, will help me to enjoy the futility of my retail therapy for what it is. Awesome, exhilarating, temporary, adorable, fabulous fun.

A word or two on Salmon.

Grocery shopping has gotten quite involved lately. I, like many of us, am more carefully considering what I'm tossing into my cart. And not just looking at the calories, fat, carbs or sugars. I want to know where my food comes from.

Last week I was about to select my regular filet of farm raised salmon when I stopped to read the label. Farm Raised Salmon. Color Infused. Wait a minute, why is my salmon color infused. The butcher informed me that because it's farm raised, it isn't naturally the salmon color we think of. Therefore to keep consumers buying, the fish farmers add coloring to the salmon feed to turn their flesh that nice pinky salmon color we consumers have grown to know and demand. He also informed me that the wild salmon naturally is a bright pink, sometimes red, color and is also better for you than farm raised.

It turns out there is a whole salmon debate taking place. Farm raised salmon has been, (from what I've read,) widely criticized but is hugely popular as the delicious and cheaper alternative to the natural, organic wild salmon. Not only is wild salmon better for us, it's insanely better for the environment. Salmon farms, referred to as aquaculture, are wreaking havoc on our oceans ecosystem. Here are some good resources, check 'em out. Moral of the story, think before you eat.

Salmon News on NYT

Salmon of the America's
Leftover Salmon Band

Merry Consumermas!!

Every year I sort of dread the holidays. It seems to me the Christmas/Chanukah season has morphed into an orgy of mass consumerism hysteria. How many meaningless items will we buy, wrap, be thrilled with the anticipation of both giving and receiving only to open and temporarily enjoy these miscellaneous items before moving on to the next more exciting thing. Doesn't it seem trite and meaningless?Doesn't it infuriate anyone else when you're bludgened with holiday advertising before Halloween? It's insulting and it's time we use this opportunity to practice sustainable and intentional living.

Most people understand that whatever items are given/received during this time of year don't equate to the love and affection of the giver. It is tempting to think though. Perhaps if I give the biggest/most expensive/rarest/coolest/interesting gift there is, people will think I'm great, = I'll feel better about myself. I have always tried to give gifts I classified as thoughtful and useful. More meaningful than the widely coveted cashmere sweater. I once gave my Dad a can of cashews (his fav,) my brother a hat that was his (I had borrowed many years prior,) my brother in law a gift card to McDonalds (complete with Happy Meal packaging,) and I remember giving someone a marshmellow gun. Incredibly useful. However even these are temporary pleasures that are quickly forgotten.

I'd like this year to think of something thoughtful, meaningful, useful, and not wasteful. Here are some ideas.

Some sort of cooked item. Pie. Cookies. Etc.
Upcycled glass vases with fresh flowers.
Upcycled glass jars with spices or ingredients for cookies.
A CD of some delightful tunes.

If all else fails I'm getting everyone this.

Thanksgiving

My favorite holiday of the year. It's so special to many of us, possibly more so than those other holidays, Christmas/Hanukah or whatever you celebrate. There is nothing better than a cozy day at home, the last of the autumn leaves falling before winter takes hold, and doing nothing but preparing and than enjoying delicious healthy food with the people you love. Thanksgiving is like honestly a little like heaven. I don't even mind doing, err helping with, the dishes.

Mom's Table 2006

I've been practicing being thankful, and thinking about all the things in my life that I appreciate. Is it wrong to say that I appreciate myself? My own journey towards being a healthier, happier and more fulfilled person is something I'm thankful for. It's so easy to spend most of the day complaining about just about anything. I haven't been eating healthy enough, why did I buy the canned soup when I should make it from scratch with organic ingredients including vegetables that received daily pep talks, listened to Mozart and went to Harvard? Why can't people be more respectful, kinder to each other? Being thankful, through all the noise and doubt in your head, takes some good intention and practice. Thing is though, if we stop complaining and start listening, the little magic moments of everyday and the quiet beauty of your life slowly starts to reveal itself to you.

My awesome parents, who I'm thankful for.

Some things I'm thankful for:
My handsome, loving, supportive husband.
My family and all their love.
My warm and happy home.
My friends and all the laughter shared.
Beautiful things. Good books. My must see TV. :)
Days when I'm forgiving and loving towards myself and others.
Learning.

My grandparents. My great grand-parents and all the struggles my family made as Jewish immigrants making lives for themselves.
Cashmere. (Sorry I had to. There ain't nothing wrong with cashmere.)

Hope everyone enjoys the turkey and, more importantly, each other!

Bridal Spending Guide, My two cents.

Being a bride was one of the best experiences of my life. I made every effort to fully indulge myself in all things bridal fun. I bought the magazines, read the blogs, I watched Say Yes to The Dress all while day dreaming and planning for my big special day. I loved every moment venturing out to appointments with my mom selecting the menu, going to all FIVE of my dress fittings, and scrutinizing the composition of my centerpieces. I do however want to comment on how it feels to be a bride, and at the same time an empowered consumer, and the bitter taste in my mouth feeling that many brides are taken advantage of.

Why do salons charge $60 for an up-do, yet $120 for a bridal up-do? Same thing with most salon services. If it's bridal - they double the price. I understand, as many of the salons explained upon questioning, that it takes more time for a bride to decide on her hair than perhaps a high school junior on their way to a prom. But honestly, it takes around the same amount of time to do the work, and I'm pretty confident there are many occasions for non bridal up-do's that take just as much thought and consideration. You're hair and makeup, if you're having both professionally done, should cost about $100 each. Less for your maids.

Why is it okay, if something is white or ivory, that you can slap the word bridal on it, can you increase the price 400%? My experience shopping for shoes for my wedding day was frustrating. Many of the bridal salons I tried didn't carry shoes, or only carry a small selection of underwhelming strapped, bedazzled, white and ivory numbers. At Priscilla of Boston, a pair of beautiful ivory wedges with jewel encrusted peep toe quickly broke my heart with the price tag - $840. This is absurd, and the sad thing is that a lot of brides will shell out the cash, regardless of whether or not they have it. After struggling to find a reasonable option at Priscilla of Boston, Macy's, Nordstrom, I found a perfect pair of ivory pumps on Zappos.com for less than $100.

Veils and accessories. These can cost up to $1000 bucks for some of the cathedral lenghth veils. Even the tiniest little hair fascinators I found were costing around $300. Outrageous. For a tiny embellishment that you're wearing for one day, again it's all relative, but these prices I found insulting. I started shopping on Etsy.com for veils and found the perfect thing pretty quickly. Etsy was instrumental throughout my wedding planning for everything from my veil to gifts, decor, and more. Highly recommend checking it out. 

Dresses. Lots to say. I found most of the best quality, fabulous, gorgeous gowns that I wanted to wear to cost at least $2K. I tried 5 or 6 different bridal salons with most of them having dresses that started around 1.5K+. I also tried David's Bridal, just to see what the selection and quality. Some of the dresses were pretty, but the quality of the fabric and lace detail that I really was looking for was not doing it for me. I felt cheap and that's clearly not how you want to feel on my wedding day.About me as a shopper, for my everyday wardrobe, I'm a believer in investing in great quality items that will look good and last for a few seasons. More about my shopping philosophy here.

Other people told me to try taking a picture of a dress I loved to a seamstress and having a dress made for me. Didn't like the risk involved with this option. I ended up trying on dresses in the $2-3K range, and purchased a dress from Van Cleve Wedding Pavillion in Paoli, Pa. I don't see the need for a dress that costs more than a few thousand dollars but perhaps it's all relative. If you're having a $300,000 wedding, than of course you'll divy up your budget proportionately.

Similar to any shopping experience, you just have to be reasonable. I do feel strongly that brides need to be especially thoughtful as the excitement and emotion of the wedding can cloud your judgement and you might find yourself a little credit card happy. Remember that it's not okay to quadruple the price on what you would normally spend on something just because it's your wedding. The Dress, of course, may be the exception on this one. :)

What does hate do?

I've been so saddened recently by the wave of suicides of gay youth across the country. Followed by this story about a gang that kidnapped and tortured 3 individuals they suspected of being gay.It's just too much.

It's time that gay/lesbian/bi/transgender individuals are fully and unconditionally accepted into our society. Without question, these people are overdue for the love and acceptance that any straight person enjoys.

What saddens me is that these loving, sweet, intelligent young men cut their lives short because they had no hope for a world where they could live without fear. In our country of such individual freedom, how is it that we allow this go on? It is time for this population to feel accepted and to accept and love themselves.

Even if in your mind, you believe that being GLBT is "wrong," whatever that means, how can you ever justify that anyone is deserving of bullying, verbally abuse or physical harm? Anyone attacking someone's race/gender/religion or sexual orientation clearly has something they feel inferior about themselves.

Fabulous famous GLBT Americans (and more!)

Susan B. Anthony - American feminist and teacher

Joan Baez - American singer/wongwriter

Truman Capote - American writer

James Dean - American actor

Melissa Etheridge - American singer/songwriter

Harvey Fierstein - American actor

Janet Gaynor - First woman to win an Oscar!

David Hockney - British Artist

Janis Ian - American singer/songwriter

Angelina Jolie - American actress

Frida Kahlo - Mexican painter

Leondaro Da Vinci - Italian painter, sculptur and architect

Alexander McQueen - British fashion designer

Sinead O'Connor - Irish singer

Cole Porter - American composer

Eleanor Roosevelt - 1st Lady of United States

David Sedaris - American author and playwright

Lily Tomlin - American actress

Andy Warhol - American artist

Pedro Zamora - American gay rights activist and reality TV star

Whatsup with Cafe Felini in Ardmore?

Still new to the Main Line (we've been here less than a year,) there's is much that we haven't tried out here in terms of the local restaurant scene. Recently, on a quiet Saturday night, the fiance and I decided to sample one of the classic local italian byo's. Our favorite variety. What's better than enjoying a smooth merlot over bruschetta and linquini marinara, dining al fresco, with your sweetheart?

Our meal was excellent. I'd give it a 8.5. They brought a fresh bruschetta which was delictable, my penne a la vodka was perfect. My fiance ordered a dish with white sauce "fra diavalo," which the kitchen did make right. Still delish. No big deal.

The thing was, when it came time to pay, despite the stickers on the window that they accept credit cards our server told us the credit card machine was broken. Fiance obliged and trotted across the street to the ATM that was within sight. Before leaving, I popped inside to use the restroom and saw at the hostess' stand, servers swiping credit cards through the machine like nobodys business. This all happened within 5 minutes. Why would our waiter lie? Its common for small BYO's to be cash only for whatever reason, that's their choice, but to tell a (while small) bald faced lie to your tables so you can, what, stash an extra $5 bucks and short change the bus boy? I don't get it.

Loved this place, but have am a little salty about this weird end to an otherwise lovely date night with my honey. Later I learned the owner is known to be a shadester and that the kitchen is on the verge of a cholera outbreak. Oh well. Haven't decided if the food was good enough to go back!

Salut!

Is there a gene for success?

I. about where people end up in their lives and why. The differences between people that chose to be teachers, nurses, firemen, or neuro scientists. Are the people that write NYT Bestsellers, are CEO's of Fortune 500 companies, or affect some sort of world altering change, like Nelson Mandella, are these people born to be successful?

It's not a new question. For as long as we humans have made our way in the world, we have wondered why we end up wherever it is we find ourselves. People have always questioned, how much of what happens to us in life is pre-determined? Some of us have faith that guides us, believe in destiny, maybe you have always felt with unwavering certainty that you should be an orthodontist. But I want to know is what are the differences between us that cause our paths to splinter and head in different directions. Could Michael Jordan just as easily have been a world champion chess player?

If you believe that the tools to being successful (or not) are taught from our parents and a solid education, than yes, you'll be more successful if you are born in an environment that is conducive and supportive of achievement. All star quarterback Dads spawn aspiring all star quarterback boys. They put their potential legacy in the pee wee league shortly after kindergarten and support them with the best coaching money can buy. However any parent knows that despite the best parenting, schooling, and preparation you "invest" in your child it is all for not if your kid isn't interested.

And if these is a gene, hard coded in our DNA that leads people to be successful, can that person than do anything they want? Or are they just fumbling around until they blossom in the field that will be their one true calling? I'd like to think that a well adjusted person can be successful in just about any environment.

David Dobbs presents a theory on The Science of Success in this way. Most of us are dandelions. Adaptable, flexible, and capable of taking root in just about any environment and being successful. Others, orchids. Fragile, tempered, who with proper care and preparation can bloom beautifully. "These dandelion children—equivalent to our “normal” or “healthy” children, with “resilient” genes—do pretty well almost anywhere, whether raised in the equivalent of a sidewalk crack or a well-tended garden. Ellis and Boyce offer that there are also “orchid” children, who will wilt if ignored or maltreated but bloom spectacularly with greenhouse care."

Many very successful people, while they may have an abundance of business savvy, negotiating skills, risk aversion, and lots of other wonderful things, are completely lacking in the personality department. True, perhaps a rocket scientist doesn't need to be a social butterfly and there are certainly other exceptions, but isn't it true that your relationships with people and who you are as a person is what makes the difference? I . These are the hard work people, not the luck people.

Think we're all a bit curious about just how much control we have over our lives. Clearly an individual has the ability to control what they become. This is why there are preschools in Manhattan that cost $20K + a year. There of course is a possibility that even if you attended the best preschool, listen to Mozart in Utero and get your Phd that you still will have no idea how to make your life a success.

But who even says what that success means? I think as long as you're satisfied with where you are, than you should be happy. And as far as what you need along the way, all I can say that with foresight, vision, a little chutzpah, we should do just fine.

Rain

And I breathe air into your name

And it becomes me

Circling my body like wind

Tunneling upwards to the sky

Pulling love and emotions straight into

A starry navy ink colored sky

Where they gather together like droplets of rain

Before drizzling back down upon me

Streaming through the sky like leather bullets

Fast and smooth and sometimes painful

Rolling slowly and in perfect sequence

From one into the next

Only being along or moving or together

When absolutely necessary

Chicago, May 2007

Chicago was a trip I really needed. I was working in a job I didnt love and needed a break. One thing I knew I loved? My fabulous boyfriend who whisked me away to Chicago for a long weekend of romantic fun. We went to a cubs game, ate delicious meals in a funky neighborhood, did the architectural tour on the river. It was a clean, friendly city that had an interesting history, culture, food, amazing architecture. I loved Chicago!!